A friend of mine was recently passed up for a promotion. Obviously this happens all the time, and obviously I’m biased when I say that they were the most qualified candidate. But the person who got the position instead of them was the laziest person on their team by far. Which most of their coworkers would agree with.
And as I’ve said several times (and will say several more), I almost got my last novel published, but it was rejected not because of the novel itself, but the fact that I had no social media presence.
Neither of these things should have been surprising. My friend knows that the world is not sunshine and rainbows, and knows that the supervisors who made the decision preferred kiss-asses to hard workers who challenge their bosses with difficult questions. And I knew that a strong social media presence opened many doors, especially in the world of entertainment and media.
Yet neither of us could properly play the game.
I can’t speak for my friend, but in my case, I told myself that social media was a cesspool and I was above using it, even though that’s obviously not true. I have friends that pour their hearts out on Facebook, much in the way that so many of you do on Substack. And there are many subreddits on Reddit that are full of people having serious discussions, helping one another out, and even saving lives.
Yes, there are also karma farmers, racists, trolls, and con artists. But they exist in person, too.
The thing I don’t understand, and maybe no one does, is why does it still surprise me that you have to play games to get ahead? That you have to kiss ass to get promotions? That you have to make a name for yourself on social media if you want anyone to read your books or look at your art? That you can’t always be ‘true’ to yourself if you want to make it in the world? Whatever that even means.
And of course, even when I was swearing off social media, I wouldn’t hesitate to use ChatGPT, a major inconsistency. Which brings me to my point.
Most people who say they’re being “true” to themselves, or however they word it, are still playing games. They’re just selectively choosing to not play some games and patting themselves on the back for it. The ones who truly aren’t playing any games, who are really being true to themselves, are locked away in a temple somewhere praying all day. Or they’re living in the woods without electricity or running water. I don’t want to do that.
When I finally gave in and started looking into how to build a social media presence, I found Substack. And Substack, as you all know, is full of such a variety of incredible writings I had never even knew existed. If I hadn’t been so close minded a couple years ago, I would have ended up here, and maybe I would be a published author instead of just complaining about another failure like I’m doing now.
A lot of people on a lot of platforms will tell you to resist the mainstream, resist the corporations, the governments, the people in power. But before you do that, think about what you really want out of life.
You don’t have to play every game. But you might have to play a few.
this is literally so true in my high school; all the academic tryhards join so many different clubs because they say they want to "make a difference," but most know damn well it's often just for college applications! so i agree with "Most people who say they’re being “true” to themselves, or however they word it, are still playing games. They’re just selectively choosing to not play some games and patting themselves on the back for it" 1000%. also, i write a substack about what I had for dinner and a quick scientific fact about it, which was learned from my high school curriculum. glad if you'd check it out and maybe subscribe! anyways, david, the words you speak are the words of the blunt truth!
This is such an honest piece. Got me thinking about the games I play. As much as I would like to believe that I don't, I think there's no getting away from the fact that it is nearly impossible to stay away from all games.